10th Oct 2008Today was supposed to be the gathering of my tikam frens and Mr D will be there too. Cause he knows them too. I was kind of happy to see him and sad that this is the 1st time we appeared in front of them as no longer a couple. At first, is really awkward, I dont know how to behave in front of him. I tried to be normal, hide my disappointment and sadness. Do the usual stuff, all of us tikam, have dinner n have drinks at Carls Jr. My frens G & L came back from Japan, so they showed us the photos on their lappy, we talked n crap. Then is time to go home.
As usual, Mr D and I head the same direction home. We talked, and I have forgotten why suddenly is talked about he and that woman. The subject of the woman said if he no longer with her, she will stay single forever. And he promised her that he will be stay by her side forever. I was stunned and angry that why he make such a promise? so he is not concerned about his own future? The feelings were so strong that I cried. He told me he had broken his promise to me, and I have broken mine too so we are even. Is like what did I break? He couldnt answered but say there is. He said this time he will be true to his promise and wont hurt that woman. When Iam home, I rethink what has happened. I thought why do I still care about him?? He doesnt want to care about his future, why do I still care for him?? He said he wont hurt that woman, and what he did to me now is only hurt and more hurts, why do I still care for him?? Promises? Forever? In the past Mr D also said to me that he will love me and stay with me forever. So what happen now? Forever? Bullshit. There is no forever...not everything will goes as planned in life...you can only try to make it last as long as possible..
11th Oct 2008Today I meet up with Bestie S. I went to her house 1st, cause she want to do some research on concealers, she wanted to buy a good concealer to cover her dark spots. Actually, she said laser is the best way to get rid of them, but is too expensive. Dark spots occurred becos of UV rays, so is best to always slap on some sunblock b4 going out. But for me is hopeless, cos I put swimming as part of my exercises regime, so is confirmed I will faced the UV rays. We then head to taka to try the concealers, we didnt expect so many people as there is additional 15% sale for taka card members, so that explains the huge overcrowding. She tried the YSL highligher which is highly raved by many, is really quite good, smooth glide on and conceal power not bad. Tried some other brands. Then saw la parier, I told her this is not bad as I have their foundation. She tried the concealer and taken by the conceal power as well. Is better than the YSL. But the card is with her sis so she can only buy the next day.
After Taka, we head to MS to collect her Potion number 9 from Chapter 2. Then dinner at Breeks, thought is cheaper alternative, we both ordered pasta. Haha but she complained is too soft. During dinner we chat abit. She said my face looked like the sky is gonna fall down soon. I told her think I cried too much previous night, so face is goner. After dinner, we went citylink shop for her working clothes. We then head back MS to shop awhile more.
After which, I suggest that we head over to Espanlade to chat more. Think is a Sat, so quite crowded. We sit by the sea to chat. Talked about my problems. When I told her how MR D mind that Iam too fat n ugly when we hold hands go out together when seen by others. Then S said, then MR D dun mind how others see him and his new beau? ppl confirm can see that they are ages apart, then like dat he dun mind la? Iam like wow ya hor y I didnt think of that... We talked about fate and destiny.. Y this thing happen to me.. Maybe is a sign something better coming.. We talked about y dont ever be the 3rd party, cause what goes around comes around, karma.. I listened to her stories as well cause her life is not that smooth sailing either. She told me everybody will have problems in life, is whether how u can see it positively so u can get over them easily. It started drizzle, we then head over to the bus stop to take bus home, lucky we are in the same direction.
We chat more on the way back.. She said she can see how unwillingly that Iam letting go, struggling to put everything back in shape if there is chance, cos Iam Lai Man.. She knows how in the past, I struggle to save the relationship time after time when it should have ended. But this time is really serious.. definitely Iam not at fault.. But S said this happen, is his fault, that woman fault and my fault.. I asked her what is my fault then? S said, 1) Iam too caring (bao rong) to him, like everything I will just take it for him even at times when he is over the board. 2) Iam too relying on him, I should have not pin all my hopes and dreams on him. In the end Iam the 1 who got disappointed and hurt. 3) Iam too attached to the r/s, I should have stop the r/s when it should have end long ago.
S also said that I shouldnt shut myself and gave up hope on love again. One day when a man truly loves you, much more than you do to him, naturally you will accept him slowly. She said when some1 loves you, you dont have to do much to get his love, he will comes to you.
Then she added that, if Iam not with Mr D, I will be quite "wild"? Haha I was like wat? S said I am some1 who like freedom, friends ask u go out, hardly reject type...hmm maybe..
12th Oct 2008Today is family day. In the afternoon, I went to Chinatown with my mum to stock up toiletries and go Yue Hua and Sheng Xiong to stock up food products. Again, we struggle to get home with our loots. Too much to handle, lucky we got seats on the bus. On the way to Sheng Xiong, I saw Mr D's father at the coffee shop, I couldnt help but think of him abit.
When we are back, packed the stuff. I rest for awhile then take a shower cos of the hot weather. And I start my blogging then stop awhile for dinner then back typing =)
