Dont ever hurt me againPpl say once bitten, twice shy.. I followed my heart again without thinking through my head.. I think Iam stupid when it comes to love and relationships.. I never learnt.. too blinded by emotions..
He called me on sunday night to tell me he broke up with that woman.. cos I told him to do so previously... but I didnt think it happen so fast.. it was too late to talk I told him to meet him the next day.. I thought I can hear him talk and comfort him.. I knew he couldnt take it that easily.. I was so eager to meet him I forgotten and missed my last episode of TV..
He told me that tt womman said there is a gap b/w them, which is hurting their r/s.. the gap refers to him still having some feelings left for me.. but she should understand that we have been together for 8 years.. 8 bloody years.. would any1 can just forget and let go so fast? If Iam in 1-3 years r/s I think I will able to just let go more easily..C'mon man.. she and him have only being together like 1 and half months.. just bcos she dont feel good about it.. she initiate the break up to him.. said something like she cant go on with that.. He has done so much for her.. yet this is what she did to hurt him.. She should have more patience with him if she truely wants to be with him.. Cos He really does want to be with her.. I knew that perfectly.. From here, I can sense that she is a selfish person too..
Iam also quite angry with wat she said.. she told him that his 100% to her is not better than his 99% to me.. How can she said that? He give up everything to be with her.. gave up a steady 8 yrs r/s.. nearly gave up his studies.. treat her so much nicer.. gave her his trust.. gave her freedom.. gave her respect.. I HAVE NONE... I DIDNT HAVE ANY OF THESE..
When he talk to me.. He said he has a thought n some feeling to be together again.. He gave me a small hope.. I knew I shouldnt have taken it.. But my heart just went on its own again.. Half of me wants to believe it.. Half of me knew he didnt want to break up with her.. So I told him to go home and think more about it..
But the next day, he told me he wanted to be with her.. cos tt woman ask him to patch back.. she said she is sorry for what she said and wants a second chance.. she said she will change her san xin liang yi.. I told him to think again.. but he said he make up his mind to be with her.. Is just 1 day, did he really think? or all along he didnt want to leave her? then y did he give me that small hope? y did he said he feels abit happy when he break up? y did he said he got think for us to be together again?
I literally breaks down and falls apart.. Second time.. second time go through this rejection and hurt again.. like Bestie D said "You let him stab u again the 2nd time".. this is really very painful.. much more than the 1st time.. I cry until my head hurts.. like my fren said "let it just bleed".. Then I realised, I feel really tired of everything.. really tired of this 3 persons thing.. really tired of loving him.. really tired of caring for him.. really tired of thinking about him.. really tired of loving some1 who wont return the love.. really tried of my life.. I feel so tired inside me that I dont feel a thing anymore.. is really empty this time.. no more feelings for anything.. my heart is numb and empty..
Iam too stupid to believe him again.. I shouldnt believe him.. In the end, he still didnt know what is treasure.. to treasure me.. he only treat me as some1 comfortable to be with.. some1 he can go back to if anything goes wrong..
This 2nd painful ordeal really push me to the extreme.. Im really tired of all these.. I totally give up on him.. I dont want to have anything to do with him anymore.. Iam tired.. Is enough already.. I give up..
I think they belong well together.. both are selfish and think for themselves only.. no wonder they understand each other so well.. Bestie D say only selfish ppl wont get hurt in a r/s.. how true.. I know I can never be the selfish 1.. cos I will put and think for the other 1st..
"Dont ever come close to my heart again.. I have nothing left in my heart to react..Dont ever hurt me again.. I have nothing left for you to hurt.."
