♥ My Beautiful Life

♥ Monday, August 31, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

31-Aug-09

Today is such a bad day.. Ever since I came in to the office, Iam very down.. Dunno why.. Today is last day of August, Monday Blues and Emo..

This Monday is so blue and emo that I feel like crying.. Especially after reading this "I'll be always beside you until very end, wiping all you tears aways, being your best friend, I'll smile when you smile, and feel all the pain you ...do, & if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll will cry too", this is Bestie D dedicated for me..

My heart is so heavy, no matter how I blast my headphone, it doesnt lift it up.. Feeling breatheless and as though Iam drowning..

And the Bestie QM comfort me -
"I wld love to b ur mirror, shining back at u wif a world of possibilities. I wld love to b ur witness, who sees u at ur worst & best, & loves u anyway. I wld love to 4ever b ur partner in crime, ur midnite companion, someone who knows when u r smiling, even in e dark..I m always here for u, dear!"
"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there. Hugz..."

Iam not sure what makes me so emo.. maybe I dreaded September to come, cause it means it is almost a year ever since that.. Iam so scare I have not done enough.. not done enough.. This 1 year I work so hard.. I swear to myself that I want my revenge.. I wont lose.. yet I feel scared.. I feel confused.. Why am I still alone then..

I want that extra warmth in life.. sometimes yearn for it when Iam alone.. friends around me are attached or married.. that makes me feel more out of place.. feel more alone.. where is the love? I couldnt seem to find it, feel it and understand it.. it seems deep inside, I still feel my heart is locked.. I thought I have move forward.. but I dont know why I still feel is not enough..

Where am I now? Who am I now? What am I doing now?

♥ My World My Life

11:26 PM

♥

My Beautiful Life ♥

30-Aug-09

Today gonna meet my Bestie for movie and night out~~ We gonna watch The Proposal at Marina Square.. Turns out is a good movie, makes me want to cry but I hold back.. cos my face have make up.. Its a touching romance.. After that we head to one fullerton for coffee and chat.. is nice chill out place there facing the river..

We chat alot and before going home, we occupy the toilet to cam whore lol..

♥ My World My Life

11:07 PM

♥ Saturday, August 29, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

27-Aug-09

Today is really a bad day to start...

Morning when I was on my way to work, Iam stuck in a traffic accident!! In the middle road 2 cars collide and block the whole darn 2 lanes road, only leave a small space for cars to pass by and no buses can pass through!! We will force to alight the bus and walk 4 bus stops to the main road to continue our journey!! And darn, I am wearing heels today!! My feet is gone by the time I finish walking the 4 bus stops.. All blisters.. Painful.. And of cos Iam late for work.. but I did inform my boss..

Lunchtime is raining cats and dogs, but I still need to leave the office to pass something to someone at TPY central.. as it is raining, I took bus to central instead of walking... anyway my feet hurts to even walk.. I reached early, so I went Mos Burger to pack my lunch back, I bought terriyaki burger and a corn soup!! Hot corn soup for a rainy day is so comforting!! After the meet-up, I make my way to the bus interchange, and there I was being stop by a HSBC promoter, ask me to sign up a card, actually I wanted to get a HSBC as there are some great discounts when using it, and the good thing is I dont need to fill up anything, the person will do it for me haha.. so I pass him my IC to photocopy.. first thing he exclaimed is "Wow u from Hong Kong ah, so good", I really am not surprise, as 80% who saw my ic will say this =o=, but the second thing he exclaimed is very embarrassing, "Wow u 85 ah, u very kei ai(cute) le", after he saying this, everybody turn and look at me.. darn embarassing lo.. Iam wearing my nerdy spec and no make up.. maybe my dressing? I wear very jap today, black floral dress with legging and heels(cause cold, rainy days).. he dont have to say so loud also..and I dont know how to react, so I just smile and say thanks.. well anyway he is sales promotor of cos he will say nice things about you.. so I didnt care much about this.. but is a funny episode, dont you think so?

After work, I went home straight to eat my mooncake!! Nice!! Not too sweet!! And the lotus is really smooth.. worth every cents!! Thanks Bestie A!!

28-Aug-09

Heehee today will be a packed and fun friday!!

After work, I went down to orchard robinson and john little to utilise my $40 vouchers from 2 years ago which going to expire in aug, a little hisory of the vouchers, is from my renewal of mobile plan 2 years ago for my current phone, so yea 2 years already unknowingly.. anyway initially I wanted to get a dress so my friend's wedding in september, but all the dresses from Robinson are like $200 and up, wth.. so in the end this is what I gotten..

- A set of Tsuya Tsuya feet treatment for the feet, haha cause my feet "suffer" too much already, must pampered them..
- A sexy girl hair cologne, Bestie D use this, that I try is very nice!! Thinking that next time if I ever go for a date, I will use this!! U know the packaging there the japanese words say this smell is seductive~~ muhaha
- A canmake pink nail polish, haha I dont know what to buy already, so just buy this to try..

After shopping I went down to ION to look my sec fren buddy N who works there, today is his birthday so there is sort of a gathering to celebrate his birthday, but cause there 3 who is working late cant make it, ends up left N, me, Bestie W and H.. I went to his shop to find him first, and suddenly surprise me by saying he got an extra pair of earring he bought so ask me to take it, cos if he get 2 pairs will be 50% off.. this is funny, I never get anything from him except those share bday present for me.. haha what a fren right..

He said he find this very classy, but I find it abit heavy after putting it on, but nonetheless I never had such big loop earrings before lol.. Thanks N!! We went to XIN WANG for dinner, as our initial plan to Swensen is out, there freaking lot of people.. I had noodles and red bean ice, nice!! Sorry no pic, as is almost 9pm, we were all too hungry to think about photo anymore lol.. After dinner, we accompany N to buy his birthday present for himself at DFS, oh yea my buddy N loves branded stuff lol..

He bought a huge Bottega Veneta(famous for woven design) carrier for himself as present =o=, and far right is his huge LV monogram bag =o= Oh yea the 1 sitting is H not N lol, N is in Pink chatting with the staff at DFS about his membership with DFS, yes he is a member =o="

After this we parted ways, as I am heading to St James Broiler!! Yea Bestie W invite me to go, as her fren is celebrating her bday there, we are on guest list, so no need entrance fee and we are there, there is already 2 bottles, so we dont need buy drinks too.. Lucky!! Actually initially all the ppl there are in logistic industry, so they will all chatting about work, boring for me, and the group is quite old, 2 married men(uncles), bday gal n bf, 1 nice lady.. this nice lady is quite cool, she is doing sales, ass marketing manager, imagine her pay cheque, no wonder she is a regular at Broiler and can have her guest list =o=, she especially reserve a table beside the room at broiler, so we can sit and still enjoy the songs and excitement of broiler without squeezing in there.. fun night, good music and live band!! The lady know the drummer of the live band, so she introduce us to him and we hang around with the drummer and his frens, 1 of his fren is from Hong Kong too.. here comes the funny thing, I chat with him for awhile, he said he came here to study since sec school and now helping father's business.. and I asked him , in Hong Kong where do he stay.. Know what? He said he stay at The Peak.. I hear already want to laugh, like huh he really stay at The Peak? He will be too exclusive to club at broiler, then Bestie say that you never know, maybe he do live at The Peak.. haha I dont care, we only chat as being customary.. Is a fun night!! Drinks, good music.. and I left at 4am..

Anyway Bestie W saw her collg's husband with a woman, she say is so sad to see this, her collg is pathetic to have a husband like this, the husband has been hinting a divorce, but the thing is that they only ROM but havent had the chinese customary, such a short span of love.. is sad if the guy is like this.. Bestie W say every man is like this, wanna have the best of both world, have a wife or gf and outside playing.. well but I must admit, club is a sinful place, it depends how u control yourself, u know how to play, u must know what u r doing and be responsible.. I have seen too much.. Married man out to play when wife is overseas, Attached man out to play when gf is overseas, all these hideous truth.. So it depends who you are..

And today Bestie W very sweetly patting my hand tell me "我的丽雯变漂亮了", is ever ever so heart warming to hear this..

29-Aug-09

Homey Day for me.. Previous night play too much and too late..

Sleep till noon then wake up.. and spend my day slacking in front of the computer lol...

♥ My World My Life

8:30 PM

♥ Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

26-Aug-09

Haha work as usual, but something interesting do happen.. I was shock that my temp collg has just started with a relationship with 1 of our engineer.. I thought her expectation is higher.. My collg is very skinny, the guy is almost same height as her, fair n a bit chubby.. Of cos was happy for her.. And I was thinking how come Iam still single LoL.. Then my next seat collg say my expectation too high!! Want tall, smart, good looking(pleasing to my eyes) and abit on the bad side(so wont be boring - Iam a gemini).. Very high expectation meh? Then Iam asking myself am I that not sellable? How come I havent even met 1? It starting to irks me abit..scare really will be left on the shelf 1 day..

Today 1 of my collg met an car accident while crossing the road to our office and being sent to hospital.. I always take the same train as this guy and will walk behind him, but today I went to office earlier so didnt witness this.. but is quite chilling.. what if I am as usual and behind him.. will it happen to me?

After work, I went to meet Bestie A at TPY central to collect my mooncake, we pool together to buy get some discount!! Goodwood Park Hotel Mooncake.. I haven try mine, but Bestie is saying is darn nice!! I wanted to try when I go back home, but my mummy dear is reluctant to cut the mooncake, she said she cant bear to eat cause expensive and my little bro n daddy is not home yet, she wants to have it together.. Iam like sad.. cant eat..

Was chatting with Bestie A, complaining to her how come my life seems so monotone.. mon-thur work then home, fri after work meet frens, sat excerise with fren, sun home.. it becomes a routine for me.. but Bestie is saying everybody also seems to be this way ah.. Iam like then when will I ever meet the Mr Right? LoL.. chance? fate? Maybe I shouldnt wait and expect it to happen.. back to this nature logic that.. the more u want u wont get it.. and the less u want it will comes to u.. crossing my finger..

About this online guy.. I really have to step back and dont think and dont put in any feeling for my own safety.. I scare it the end Iam just taken for a ride.. I do feel bad that I dont trust him.. But once bitten, twice shy.. U wont want to be hurt again.. My fren is saying after 8yrs r/s heartbreak u r still standing and alive, whats so scary about this? All I want is I want to protect myself first, protect myself from being hurt, from this, I admit Iam selfish not to trust or put in anything. That is probably because we havent even meet, dont know how is the real person like. But I think this is the best, I need a guy to make me comfortable to open up myself again.. Till now, I still will corner myself, seal away my heart.. no more feelings like a robot..

♥ My World My Life

6:06 PM

♥ Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

25-Aug-09

Work as usual... Nothing special.. But Iam lucky I have good collgs that can joke and make fun with, so the day is not that boring...

Since Monday, I sort of like semi fast with my collgs, I eat breakfast of bread and soya milk when I reach office, but I skip lunch and the late afternoon I will take a muesli bar as I need work OT

After work, I reached 8.30pm, I went straight to jog.. I just not in good mood, so went for a run.. I do feel abit hungry, but I know I cant eat.. should take liquid food, if not I run for nothing..

♥ My World My Life

11:41 PM

♥ Monday, August 24, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

23-Aug-09

Today is a home day for me, as Iam not feeling well still..
I spend the afternoon watching jap drama, finally finish my Zettai Kerashi SP with a pack of tissues!! Is really sad.. Recommended!! Thumbs Up!! And I watch the Lovely Complex movie too!! Nice!! About love which height doesnt matter!!

Frankly, I did spend alot of time texting this online fren, I think is getting complicated..We have not meet and yet we are like texting everyday.. I admit I do like him so far and interested, and he said the same thing.. But the thing is he is leaving for Spain next year cause of work, which Iam rather disappointed with, cause I only knew that recently.. and worst case is he add on saying that alot female friends interested in him but dont want to commit cause knowing he is leaving soon.. and he asked me how do I feel about it.. Truthly, when I heard this Iam pissed, dunno why, but I feel like Iam being taken a ride.. but what can I say? We have not even meet each other!! So I just told him, congrats on getting an offer to work in Spain, not many people will have the chance afterall!! What can I say? As much as Iam pissed, I feel that I shouldnt care so much, we have not meet, not even friends, can we have a relationship together? I shouldnt care so much, just carry on my life!!

24-Aug-09

Monday bluezzz for work..
No mood for work..
And abit sick still, with all the cough and block nose..
My collg still say my voice sexy haha..
Around 5 plus, my mother called me, I thought she ask me to help me get things or wat, but actually is she want to ask me how am I.. That instant I feel like crying, her love and care for me is like infinite.. how can I do without her 1 day? The thought like this scare me.. Shortly around 7pm, my brother call me, he was outside and want to ask me if I want any food, he too know Iam sick, so he ask if I want porridge or other soupy stuff.. I really touch by him too.. I feel warm suddenly and being loved, all long I feel my inside in cold from that day on, it has been very cold...

♥ My World My Life

5:39 PM

♥ Sunday, August 23, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

20-Aug-09

Nothing much about today.. work as usual and OT till 8pm..
Heart is not there... and nothing seems to be good haha.. whatever Iam thinking..

21-Aug-09

Today after work, finally I got to meet my Bestie S whom always up in the sky, hard to get hold off.. LoL.. By the by, this morning, I was so rush getting to work, I just anyhow wear and grab my things.. so I wear abit like go club, and everybody in office just tease say i going party LoL..

We meet at Marina Square, as she in cutting hair, I walk around and bought myself a discounted fox black top, and some sale accessories from mphosis.. money spend again lol.. then after she finish, we head to eat thai food for dinner.. the tang hoon is so spicy that I swear I wont order this again!!

And 1 bad thing is, the aircon in the restaurant is bloody cold, Iam not sure is it becos we sit under the aircon.. but is really freaking cold.. we keep shivering so much that we gave up eating half way.. LoL

And we rush out to the open to defroze and chat.. but I was not feeling well suddenly.. I cough badly and feel like vomiting, so went home straight.. dunno why suddenly become like this.. I do feel that I have sore throat, but didnt expect this, and i really did vomit after I reach home.. Sian..

I feel so bad that I went to bed immediately..

22-Aug-09

Is quite a fruitful day as I did alot of stuff!!

I start off the day by going to marriot hotel to attend the G2000 fall winter collection focus group to rate their collection.. I was surprised I was being invited, cos the reward not bad, 100 gift voucher muhaha.. I reach there around 11am and I finished by 12pm.. and they provide refreshment as well..

Afterwhich, I head to Taka Kino to get magazine for Bestie QM as I will be visiting her later.. add on, I bought her some famous amos cookies too as gift haha.. so sad I sick cant eat.. so I grab a mr bean set at the mrt station when I on the way to visit her for myself..

I stay and chat with her till 4pm before heading to attend the Japanese summer festival with my collg, I was curious how it will be like, as the last time I went is during poly days.. to my surprise there are so many people.. really turn off.. so we hang around abit, eat some stuff and left for home at 7pm.. and so sad not much cute jap guys around to feast my eyes on lol..

♥ My World My Life

12:42 AM

♥ Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

18-Aug-09

Work sucks as usual.. but I was looking forward to meet my Bestie D after work!! So long never see her.. Shw was sick for 2 weeks =o=

After work, I meet her at Far East to have dinner, walk around.. I also want to look around any cheap nail parlour to do mani and pedi, as my collg want to go for pedi and ask me along..

We ate the wanton noodles at basement, not to bad!! And then we shop around for accessories.. I bought 3 leather-like bracelets for my cool rock style dress-up muhaha.. and Bestie bought a rock star bracelet too.. after shopping, we end our day by walking towards wheelock there to get starbucks and sit by the road to chat, we chat quite long b4 heading home!! I really miss her!!

19-Aug-09

Today after work, me and my collg straight away head to far east for our mani and pedi, the price not too bad, $40 for both.. from 6pm to 8pm..

The sales did psyhco us take package, but i dun feel it as a need.. I only do mani and pedi occasionally.. 1 bad thing is, I think the person push back my cuticle too much, after the session, my finger is bleeding =o= I didnt realise until Iam on my way home, cos I choose the nail colour red.. they blend well together LoL...

Hmm recently I know this online friend, and we start chating on msn and sms almost everyday.. but we have not meet at all.. Iam kind of dreading to meet, cos I am really not confident to meet, Iam not confident of myself.. I know this is real bad.. even my besites encourage me to just be more confident, I have changed for the better.. Now is time to choose others and not people choose me.. But I keep thinking am I better now? Better so wont be rejected easily? I admit I still have shadows of the past.. and I will never forget this sentence "I feel disgusted just standing beside you".. I will never forget this sentence, and I swear I will become prettier and I wont lose!! Where can I find my confidence?..

♥ My World My Life

12:23 PM

♥ Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

17-Aug-09 Monday

Monday Bluezzzz, so sian working life.. Today was quite busy, so at least time passes very fast..

After work, I went for my monthly facial, wait so long for the bus.. I reach the Aunty place at 8pm and finish at 10pm (=o=') As usual darn painful!! I nearly half dead when I left!! But as my Bestie say that is the price to pay for being pretty, so Iam willing to bear with it!!

Iam confused.. I really dont know how to trust some1, can I believe what he said? I want to believe, yet a part of me really skeptical about this.. Afterall we have not meet, but we are texting everyday..

I really dont have the confidence about myself, Iam very conscious about my outer appearance, what if Iam still too fat? Not good looking? Iam scare of being rejected cause of these.. once bittern twice shy..

But Bestie B encouraged me to step forward.. She said I have work very hard and has come so far, dont waste my efforts. She said I have to have more confidence about myself..but is so difficult.. maybe another 10kg more, I will be more confidence..

Anyway I have sorted out more thoughts, I will meet him 1 day still.. I wont care the results..

Anyone sell confidence pills? =p

♥ My World My Life

3:00 PM

♥ Sunday, August 16, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

14-Aug-09

Work is really sian, especially is friday!! Cant wait for the clock to strike 6pm!!
But today at work is pretty cool!! My collg bought us Beancurd for after lunch dessert!! Yummy!! And at 4pm, we got snack from the project manager, for making up no celebration for National Day haha, I think somebody complain why never celebrate.. haha and we had subway, abit weird lo 4pm eat subway.. after I eat so darn full!! No need dinner!!

After work, Iam meeting my group of tikam frens, we are going to the Toys fair at Suntec, walk walk see see. Is being so long since meeting them!! After walk walk, Iam only interested in the Bylthe Dolls. Last time I was a serious toys collector, now no more after the break up. No longer has the meaning and reason to collect anymore. Though I dont collect anymore, but I still hang around with them, we have known each other for years, and Iam the baby of the group, always well taken care of haha.. But I really glad to know them.. really glad..

In the past, we do meet up weekly, but now seems months then we meet up. Today meet up, they say I lose weight quite successfully. Iam happy that I did, and it motivates me to continue on!!

Love these Blythe Dolls, Kawaii ne~~

15-Aug-09

Today I went for a Dior's new foundation preview.. it was crowded, didnt know they are so many ppl.. but it was fun, the MA demostrate how to do nude make up, teach u the brush techniques.. overall really enjoyable.. but Iam on make up ban!! No more cosmetics for awhile!! I really tempted to try the foundation!! But I manage to hold my wallet!!

Then after the Dior's preview, Bestie W and I went to East Coast to look at inline skates, cos we are tired of renting, and dun like to rent smelly stuff haha.. after much heartpain and temptation... we fianlly bought it!! A full set of skates for $289, next month I have to eat grass le..

But look at my new baby!!

Mummy dear keeps nagging, why I so implusive and spendthrift.. But I wanted to buy long ago, I enjoy skating.. then I realise I wanted to tune my piano too.. haizzz like so many things to do..

16-Aug-09

Today is my visiting Bestie Qm day.. haha now is like officially every sunday.. Last week I promise her I will bring her fav food fried rice and pork chop.. cause these stuff she can hardly eat now.. and I decided to bake something too.. Want to try my baking skills..

So early in the morning, I make an appointment with mummy dear and little bro at chinatown for breakfast and go market.. we ate breakfast first at the hawker centre.. we order too much, in the end eat until stomach bulge out haha.. yea I think is a blessing to have a sunday morning with your closest.. I always treasure every moment..

Dont ask me why I am not in the photo, is too early, I look sucky with naked face haha..

Back home, I rush my baking - condense milk pound cake.. 1st try.. wasnt that sucessful, the temperature and time.. so hard to clinge it..

And I bring the food fast to Bestie Qm place, cos i taking too much time le.. Haha I reach her place around 4pm and we chated for 2 hrs.. really miss her!! We talk alot, and she question me about the new man in my life.. haha there arent any new man in my life.. is just an online fren whom I didnt even met b4.. but I do have abit of feeling.. just that I dont dare to let it out.. I really scare.. I no longer can differentiate what is love and stuff.. What is a person cares for you feel like? What is a person like you feels like? I start questioning my bestie for answers like Iam a robot without any feelings.. I think I had lost them all.. I really do..

♥ My World My Life

8:46 PM

♥ Thursday, August 13, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

13-Aug-09 Thursday

Another busy day at work..And then there is this dialogue with the vice president in the afternoon about how is the co doing, oh man, is really not looking good, the economy is still very bad.. I am crossing my fingers now as my contract ends on early nov...

Anyway recently make an online fren, say intersted to be frens, and we chated for quite awhile. I do have a good impression of him among others, is really down to earth chatting, no over flirting or acting cute.. but when he asked for a first date.. I totally suddenly freak out.. Iam really very conscious about my appearance.. What if Iam too fat, face too fugly? I just suddenly freak out... and then I sort of calm down, is ok, just be it, if it meant to be, it will be, I gotta have more confidence.. And he said he will only be free next month, and 1st date shall be running.. what a good choice man.. anyway I didnt bother it anymore, and shall not be bothered.. who knows what will happen in a month.. and street smart people will know.. never trust the internet too much..

Haha shall not make myself mentally tired, concentrate on losing more weight =)

♥ My World My Life

11:29 PM

♥ Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

12-Aug-09 Wednesday

Today at work is a tired day.. Busy Busy Busy.. Cos of 1 stupid vendor that send nonsense for me to clear..

Back home, while changing out clothes. I went to dig out more old jeans that I couldnt wear last time to try on again, it fits, and it motivates me to lose more!! But it seems really hard to lose at my age now, it could be easier when younger cause as we get older, our body function slower and metabolism goes down.. I really want to lose more.. another 10kg I will be dead happy..

Talking to mummy dear, she brought up last sat, I thought she couldnt bring it up, I thought I have escaped. She said Iam almost half dead on sat night, nag about should not go all the way if I cant. I admit Iam abit careless, I thought I could hold up more. I smile sheepishly at mummy dear, and tell her I will be more careful next time. It warms me that mummy dear really care about me, love me..

♥ My World My Life

10:40 PM

♥ Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

Just wanna share

——在错的时间，遇见错的人，是一种无奈。
——在错的时间，遇见对的人，是一声叹息。
——在对的时间，遇见错的人，是一种悲伤。
——在对的时间，遇见对的人，是一种幸福。

当我不再亮着头像等待你上线的时候
我已经在悄悄的不爱你了

当我不再为了一条没回复的信息苦苦期盼的时候
我已经在悄悄的不爱你了

当我接到你的电话依旧是喜出望外
但是却言不由衷的时候
我已经在悄悄的不爱你了

当我有了开心或难过的事情选择一个人承受的时候
我已经在悄悄的不爱你了

当我路过我们回忆的街头
我只是想起
而不会再去怀念的时候
我已经在悄悄的不爱你了

当我慢慢的屏蔽关于你的一切消息
选择在你的世界消失的时候
我已经在悄悄的不爱你了

当我刻意回避手机中的简讯和曾经写过的信件
当我把它们深深掩埋却没有销毁的时候
我已经悄悄不爱你了

当你以为我还在爱你的时候
其实我已经不爱你了

不要试图再打击我
因为你已经没有了我爱你的资本

我不再是以前的我了
我不会低声下气地求你原谅我
我不会半夜不睡觉却傻傻地等你的电话

我不会不和我最好的哥们出去
只因为怕你生气
怕你吃醋
怕吵架

一切的一切又回到从前了
回到从前一个人走

一个人过
一个人哭笑的日子
一个人隐身从不上线的日子

自由是困在牢中的野兽
放开了拳头
也许才能更自由
也许我是在骗自己
也许我还爱着你
虽然地球再转
但是没有你
我一样很精彩

我可以每天和朋友去打球
我可以每天和朋友去吃饭
我可以每天陪妈妈在家
哪怕不说话
我也知道妈妈在干什么

我可以每天找我的朋友
玩什么
去哪玩
已经不再考虑你了

和男的出去
和女的出去
也是我自己的事情了
你没权利再问我了

我可以去做我想要做的一切事情
因为我自由了

亲爱的
不要问我我们的爱呢
因为是你先忘记我们爱的方向
你放开了我的手

现在我要给你我最后也是最好的温柔
你会听到我对你说...
我给你自由
我给你自由
我给你自由
我给你自由
我给你全部全部全部全部自由......

以后如果我在舞台上唱歌给我爱的人听的时候
请相信
里面有你
谢谢你
我曾经爱过的你

也谢谢你
曾经爱过我的你...

♥ My World My Life

10:20 PM

♥

My Beautiful Life ♥

11-Aug-09 Tuesday

Haizzz 1st day of work after long weekend.. How come my long weekend like just fly by??
Expected, when I took the morning bus, he is right there too.. I dont dare to peep at him anymore, scare he recognise me, I really pray he dont.. haha I start to think this is all nonsense, I dont even think we will ever talk to each other at all.. so keep it as my crush from afar haha..

Back in office, whole day feel restless, sleepy.. trying to keep myself awake till 8pm.. but 1 bad news, my boss saying now project slowing down, so we dont need to do much OT, it will be cut down soon.. Oh man I will have less money now!!

Recently my bestie faced with relationship problem, she care for the guy very much, always think for him, yet the guy dont seems to feel it or maybe taking it for granted. That hurts my bestie alot.. well I'm nt the right person to comment about this as Iam single.. but I dont think any gal deserve this.. caring for a person yet the other party dont take it to heart.. My bestie told me she will give herself half a year to treat the bf very nice and then break off.. My 1st qn is what for? Bestie said she thinks she owes him that or she thinks she did not treat him well enough..so this half a year she will do her best to treat him well.. I can feel there is alot of love for the guy, you are still giving till the end, which I think is very selfless.. Can I do that?? I think I will if it is in the past "me" when I really love alot.. But the now "me" I dont think I can do it..

♥ My World My Life

9:43 PM

♥ Monday, August 10, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

09-Aug-09 Sunday

Is national day!! I thought I wouldnt go out, cause is so freaking lotsa ppl. But but but, there is this Stage Cosmetics sale going on, and only valid on national day. So no choice, I have to go out!! At first, trying to find friends go, but none is available. Haizzz, so just when I wanted to head out alone. Bestie W contacted me, she want to ask me out lunch with her fren at amoy street which is quite near my house. But too bad I just had mine earlier on!! So I asked her if she wants to head to town with me for awhile before she meet her bf. And we arrange to meet an hour later cause I need to prepare muhaha!! Guess what?! An hour later Bestie W called to check where I am, and I told her Iam still waiting bus at my house bus stop!! Cause she wanted to fetch me with her fren's car, but they knew I would take long to prepare hence they use the time to go to Bedok to get Goreng Pisang (Fried Banana) and then head to town!! Bestie W joke and asked if Iam touched? They go all the way to Bedok to get me Fried Banana!! Iam like yea touch man, cause u knew I will take long to prepare and dont want wait for me!!! Haha Iam joking, I knew I take alot of time to prepare, must dress up n make up, so no choice!!

And we got our things within an hour or so, and we parted our ways around evening with fried banana in our stomach!! I wanted to head home fast, cuase I dont want to get jam by crowds!! After I reach home, I realised Iam home alone... My mum went Malaysia with fren over long weekend, my brother got national day duty and my dad went out too.. But is ok, I have lotsa things to do alone at home, like check emails, play facebook and edit my photos and blog!!

10-Aug-09 Monday(Public Holiday)

Woke up early, but abit relutant cause is drizzling and the weather is perfect for sleeping!! However, I have already arranged to go Bestie W house for a run before going to visit my Bestie QM. There is this new route from Bestie W house can run all the way to bukit batok little guilin. We are trying to build up stamina for our stand chard 10km marathon!! Haha in the end we only manage half of the route and turn back.. so total we run n walk for 3km plus..

After the run n shower, we went to meet Bestie I so that we can go together to visit Bestie QM. We stay there for almost 3 hrs to chat and catch up. Bestie QM is looking better day by day and Iam so glad. I was really heart pain for her to go through such an operation. Bestie QM say she miss outside world so much, we console her by promising her when she is well enough, we will take her anywhere!!

After visiting Bestie Qm, I go back home, cause mummy dear has come back to singapore and I want to spend time with her =) Today, my house only have me and mummy dear at night, so I went to pack away some food for us. I bought po piah and yam cake from QIJI at Tiong Bahru where my train stops. But it didnt taste as nice as other outlets. What a shame..

At night my fren sms me say want to meet at vivo, cause they are at vivo. But I already call mummy dear before that, so I turn down their offer haha and they reply me say I such a good gal stay home. Well, for me now, there is nothing else except my family and besties...

♥ My World My Life

8:30 PM

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My Beautiful Life ♥

Hello Iam back!!

I have gotten lazy for not updating my blog and I have repent seriously!! So now Iam back blogging about my life!! All these will become my most treasured memories in future!!

Is going to be a year after broke up, living a single life, I guess I have adapted well by now. I have been very independent now. I have accepted the fact of lonliness within. I know how to deal with lonliness my way. But life for me, most of the time is still fun and nice. I treasure every moment.

I hope I have change for better!! My besties commented I have change alot, I have become more mature. Outlook change, mentality change, thinkings change. After going through all this, I think is natural to change and become a different person.

And my change did shock my sec guy fren haha. We were at a gathering and we were talking about prospective bf/gf attributes. When is my turn to comment, I said I think is impt my bf and husband to be, must love me, dote on me, has a good career, has a car and a house. And this very guy friend say Iam practical, isnt love owns all? then I said 爱情能当饭吃吗？He got a shock from what I say, and he said when I have become like this? Last time I wouldnt say like this. And I replied I have change then, my thinking of love and stuff has changed. But Iam still me, my character all those never change. He jokingly ask me to choose him cos he got all those I list out. Our whole table roar with laughter, we say he like selling himself off. He is a good fren defintely!!

And I unknowingly has become a vain-pot!! My bestie influence me to become a vain-pot who loves self shot herself muhaha.. I feel that when you are young, you must grab hold of youth. Like acting cute and take silly photos is still ok for me now. I doubt I will do this when Iam in 30...

♥ My World My Life

12:01 AM

♥ Sunday, August 9, 2009

My Beautiful Life ♥

Polymate's Welcome Back Party - 08-08-09

My polymate just return from his study at Aus, so we threw a welcome party for him, and it has been long time since we all get together!! I knew is a not easy party, as everybody now busy working and studying. But the turn out is really good. Haha I think cause the guys bring their gfs and gals bring their bfs, so more ppl la. Is a pot luck party, everybody have to bring something!! So I brought my self made brownie and I bought pie kia, but in the end, I lag all these back home, cause too much food, cant finish...

Is really a nice catch up!! 1 guy fren even comment I look like jap gal now, my dressing everything, I thought all along Iam like this??

A long time fren also apppear this time, cos she getting marry soon in Sept, so she came down to pass invitations haha..

And we all have fun with chatting, joking and play games, like what we all used to do!!

Hee side track now, 1 funny thing happen today also...

Everyday I will take the 7.30am bus from my house bus stop to work, and there will be this guy taking the same bus too. I have noticed him for a long time, haha Iam not pervert ok, I just abit interested in him. He looks dark and sporty type, short brown hair, looks very wholesome kind. Every morning, I just take a few glances haha.

And then this very 08-08-09 stupid day, I woke up at noon and wanted to bake brownie for the pot luck. I realised I dont have eggs, so I quickly changed, brush teeth, wash face to rush downstairs to buy eggs. After getting the eggs, I wanted to go to the convenience store to check out if they have a 8 inch square pan for baking, cos I dun have 1 and I actually intend to just use foil and a 7 inch square ring to bake. So just pass by, if have then I buy. I was browsing the store, and found 1 looks like 7 inch pan, so I wanted to ask the shop keeper what is this exact size and if they have a 8 inch pan. Just when I went to the counter and open my mouth, my jaw drop, is that exact guy I saw everyday, I didnt know he is the shopkeeper's son!! Now u know how rarely I do buy things downstairs!! That point of time, I just wanted to give back the pan to him and run off!! Iam in my lousy home clothes, specs, naked face and messy hair!! But is so obviously I wanted to ask something, so I cant just run away. Taking a deep breath, I just softly ask what is the size of pan and if they have 8 inch pan. Like what I expect, he measure only 7 inch and they didnt have any stock for 8 inch. And I jsut smile and say thank you but I looking for an 8 inch pan and left the store.

Is just so stupid!! Why would I see him in this pathetic state? I really hope he dont recognised me!! Anyway I just being dumb haha.. I dont even know if he is gay, got gf or marry? Just my 1 sided little piece of story!!

♥ My World My Life

11:18 PM

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My Beautiful Life ♥

Bestie D Bday - June

Hee thie year Bestie D bday, she invited me to her house for a sleepover to celebrate. It was really cool!! My 1st time pyjamas party!! And we have lots of fun taking photos!!

And then we fix a day to celebrate with Bestie Wy together!!

Hang out with Bestie D - July

I think it has been awhile since I last hang out with Bestie D, she is a busy gal haha. But I always enjoy each meet up with her!! We eat, we drink, we take photos!! Muhaha, we are the vain-pot buddy!!

We went to have steamboat at Seoul garden, cos got 1 for 1, if not dun think we will ever go!!

And we went Queen Mangosteen at Vivo, that place really nice ambience, but the menu price is not friendly!!

♥ My World My Life

10:56 PM

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My Beautiful Life ♥

Cosfest 2009 - July

Haha I must admit, I love reading comics, watching anime. Iam a 宅女 and proud of it!!
I went to cosfest 2009 with my collg who happen to be a 宅女 too!! It is really fun!! See so many characters!! We even say next year we should cosplay next year!!

Hee hee we are at the cosfest!!

Reborn - Future Hibari!! Got the auora!!

DMC Vs Mask Rider!!

I really like the movie, wanted to ask him take a pic with me, but I shy la!!

I didnt know mask rider pose like this!!

Haha I help her to ask for a pic with the Gintama Cosplayer, he really quite tall!!

黒執事, Kuroshitsuji, really cool trio!!

This 妹妹 really cute hor!!

Gundam Mania!!

♥ My World My Life

10:05 PM